When the wind R a blowin'
yer chimes will be a Bang!in'
Now that Banger whoaman has gone a bit crazy wit her wurds... She shore duz love to play wit them 'n make 'em funny too! You got a sense of humor, don'tcha?
They have been paint'd up, reel splochy like, with a twist of colors. That Bang!er
whoaman shore do have a hard
time makin' anythin mor'n once. These hear Bang!ers
are rite up her alley-way, cuz all sticks R not the same, so she
mixes 'em up any way she wants... keeps her from gittin' her drawers
in a bunch.
#9 - Price: Twenty dollers
Nekkid
Wind Chimes fer the Def
CorkSoakers fer the Def
Us Redneks R gittin scared that the Bang!er whoaman mite have gone o'vr the edge, like a herd o sheeple's wood do.
Anywho we thot these wood be sorta fun fer folks what likes it purty quiet when they's home from a hard day of bangin' on them 'puter buttons, but still wanna see sumthin blowin 'round on the porch, like the swing that blow'd away yestidy.
These Wind Bang!ers sound real quiet!
# 8 - Price: Seventeen dollers
The Bang!er
whoaman's ben hittin the deestilled fire water agin! Us Hole in the Head Gang R gittin scar't
that the Bang!er whoaman
mite have gone o'vr the edge, like a herd o sheeple's wood do. Wind Chimes fer the Def?
Now we hear'd
that Def ain't the way to call them, what can't hear a durn thing. But we's just bakwoods folk
what don't know
no better. So ya'll just git over it now, y'Hear?! We figger some folks
needs a good laffin, more often'r than not!
Anywho, that Bang!er
whoaman thinks even cityfied hearin' folks wood want one of these Wind Chimes fer the Def
blowin 'round! They R made from the stoppers of gen-u-wine mashed grape spirits what have been kept in barrels fer a
few days, er more, then poured into green bottles. The corks have a purply stain on em. We put Tiny Bang!ers on to space out the
corks. But the Bang!er Whoaman thot Def folk would like to be swingin'
like hearin' folk, 'n have some fun too!
Ya gotta turn yer volume up to hear these puppies...
PeeEss: All wind bangers are put on fence boards... no sticks, no aspen... unless I find a reely good 'un.
These used to be Nekkid corks too. They ain't got the uther colors, but they's purty just the same.
Yew can bet yer bottom doller that the neighbers won't be botherin yew 'bout any sounds they mite not like. Some peeple just love to tell uthers what they can 'er cannot do. Used to be a rocker song wit wurds like: "Evrybody Wants to Rule the Whirrld". Now why is that so?
#10 - Price:
Twenty dollers
Plastik Nekkid CorkSoakers
New-fangled corks, with wurds 'n pitchurs
These hear Bang!ers are durn cute! They aren't as plentiful in my box o corks, so there many not be enuff for a full straight of 'em on a fence board.
These hear stoppers will shorly take ov'r the whine stopper market. Them whiners, 'er whino's, 'er wine sipp'rs... will keep them peeple in bizness after all the cork trees is gone.
#11 - : Eighteen
dollers
Nekkid
RedNek Wind Chimes
Nekkid as a yung'un in a cement pond!
These were made up fer Yuppy-fied city folk what wood rather be drinkin' grape spirits than good ol fashon deestilled fire-water! Us Hole in the Head Gang Bang!ers don't mess around when it comes to R water'in holes! We'uns jus like to "Git 'er Dun" quick like a fox. Hear tell some uther hillbilly took that line already, but since we ain't got no telly-vision we cain't tell ya who thunk it up furst.
Anywho we thot these wood be sorta fun fer folks what likes it purty quiet when they's home from a hard day of bangin' on their puter buttons, but still wanna see sumthin blowin 'round on the porch, like that swing what blow'd away yestidy.
All of these Wind Chimes fer the Def sound like the one below. Y'all trust me... y'hear?
#7 -Price: Eighteen
dollers
